Hey everyone, I never thought I’d be sharing something like this here, but lately, I’ve realized how cathartic it can be to open up. So here goes.
Yesterday, I stumbled across an old book while cleaning out my childhood room. It wasn’t the cover that caught my attention, but a folded piece of paper sticking out from the pages. The book was ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ a favorite of mine from high school, filled with underlined sentences and notes in the margins.
I know it sounds like a small thing, but the moment I saw that paper, my heart just stopped. You know that feeling when something so ordinary suddenly becomes significant, and you’re not sure why? I hadn’t read that book in years, which might be why I never noticed it before.
As I gently opened it, I realized it was a letter written in my mother’s handwriting. She passed away when I was fifteen, and I’ve always felt that there was so much left unsaid between us. At first, I was terrified to read it, frozen by the sudden flood of memories and emotions. But then I sat down on the floor and began to read.
It was a letter she’d written to me when I was about to turn ten. A simple note, really, but more heartfelt than anything I’d ever received from her. In it, she talked about how proud she was of the person I was becoming, her hopes for my future, and the love she had for me. And then she said something that changed everything.
She mentioned how she’d always tried to be strong for me, and how sometimes it might have seemed like she was distant because of that. ‘But know that I’ve never loved anyone more,’ she wrote. ‘Sometimes love is quiet, like the pages of a well-read book, full of whispers and secrets. I hope one day you find these words and know how deeply you are cherished.’
I didn’t know I was crying until a tear smudged the ink. It was like she knew, somehow, that I’d find this letter when I needed it most.
Growing up, I always thought her stoicism meant indifference, a barrier between us. But now I realize that her distance was her way of protecting me, of giving me the space to become my own person. Reading those words, I understood her in a way I never could before.
After finishing the letter, I sat in silence, the house so quiet I could hear my own heartbeat. The realization that she had always been there, guiding me through my memories, was like finally stepping into the sunlight after standing in the shadows for years.
This discovery, this truth hidden in the pages of an old book, has been a gentle awakening for me. It’s a reminder that sometimes the things we most long to hear are already there, waiting for us to find them.
I want to believe that we all have these hidden truths in our lives, waiting to be uncovered. If you’re reading this, maybe take a moment to look around and listen. You might find something you need, just like I did.
Thank you for letting me share this. I feel lighter, more connected to myself and my mother. Here’s to quiet discoveries and the unspoken bonds that shape us.
Love,
Anna
