Hey everyone. I’ve never done something like this before, putting my heart out for the world to see, but I just… I need to share this. I’m not expecting anything in return, maybe not even understanding, but just saying it out loud feels like a step.
This morning, I was cleaning out my grandmother’s attic. It’s this dusty, forgotten space filled with boxes that hold remnants of a life lived long before I was born. Grandma passed recently, and it fell to me to sort through the clutter, to decide what would stay, what would go.
Amidst all the old photo albums and vintage clothes, I found something. It was a small, mint green envelope, aged but unopened, resting at the bottom of a box labeled ‘Books’. It seemed out of place, lost among the belongings of someone who cherished every piece of their life as a story. My name was on it, written in my father’s handwriting.
Dad passed away when I was just 13. Memories of him are like snippets of dreams I’m desperate to hold on to. Finding this letter felt like finding a piece of him again after all these years.
With trembling hands, I opened it. Inside was a single sheet of paper, alongside a dried flower that crumbled slightly to the touch, and as I read the words, my world shifted.
“Dear Lily,
If you’re reading this, it means I didn’t get to give it to you in person. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for many things, but missing your life is the deepest regret I carry.
As you grow, there will be moments when the road seems unclear. If I could offer anything, it would be this: know that you are loved. Deeply and unconditionally. You are my moon and my stars, the reason I’d fight the dark each day.
Life is full of paths, choices that shape who we become. Don’t be afraid to seek what matters to you, to embrace change even when it seems daunting. Remember what I always said – courage, dear heart. It’s what binds us to purpose and keeps us honest to ourselves.
Keep the flower. It’s a token from the garden where you first learned to find beauty.
With all my love,
Dad”
The tears came, quietly at first, and then in a flood I couldn’t control. For years, I had harbored this coldness towards him, a childish resentment for not being there when I thought I needed him most. In my memory, he was always leaving, always too busy, until he left forever.
But here was the truth: he never truly left. Not in spirit, not in love.
It’s strange, how something so small, a letter, can change the landscape of your heart. For years, I felt like I was unanchored, adrift without guidance. But now, his words have become a compass, pointing to the corners of myself I had ignored.
I went back to the garden today. The sun was setting, painting the world in hues of orange and violet. I planted a new flower where he once taught me about beauty. It felt like a new beginning, like finding home in a place I had walked past countless times.
Life is undeniably strange and unpredictable, but maybe that’s its beauty. The knowledge that something so small could hold so much power, so much healing, has given me a new lens to view my existence.
Thank you, Dad, for the courage, for the love, for the gentle push towards a path I finally feel ready to walk. I hope you’re watching, seeing how much my heart has grown, how, in the echo of your words, I’ve found my voice.
Thank you for reading, for being here and letting me share.
Love,
Lily